India has been volunteering as a Sex and Relationship teacher for nearly two years with the UK-based charity Sexpression. India talked to us about her experience volunteering with students 14 to 16 years old, what the SexEd curriculum looks like in Edinburgh, and what gives her hope for the future of sex and relationship education in schools.

How did you get involved with teaching SexEd?

I was drawn to the volunteering scheme because I was so underwhelmed by the limited SexEd at my school, and I wanted to have a go at the teaching aspect myself. I was excited by the prospect of teaching “sex positive” SexEd, and that there were schools even willing to interact with the scheme. I also secretly loved the idea of being in a position to challenge the opinions of the various “lads” I was bound to come across. (Spoiler alert: I can confirm that “lad culture” is still very much alive and well in schools today.) At my University branch, the Sexpression scheme has one intense training day during the first semester about the curriculum, child protection, and teaching etiquette. By January of my second year, after I had my background check sorted, I was good to go as an assistant volunteer.

-> Sexpression UK: https://sexpression.org.uk

What sort of things do you teach?

At Sexpression, the aim is to teach inclusive SexEd. Essentially, this means that the curriculum goes beyond “penis-and-vagina-go-together-to-make-a-baby.” The scheme covers topics such as consent, healthy and unhealthy relationships, STI prevention, sexual pleasure, gender identity, and pornography. The curriculum is sex positive, which aims to steer away from the Coach Carr-esque “Don’t have sex because you will die” rhetoric seen in Mean Girls, by encouraging healthy discussions on sex and relationships. There is an active effort to make sure that the teaching is not overly heteronormative, by mainstreaming LGBT+ experiences into the curriculum, something which is unfortunately lacking in many standard SexEd programmes. Sexpression is also a “near-peer” scheme, meaning that the closer the volunteers are in age to the students taking part in the class, the more likely they are to respond positively to the discussions. I underestimated how important this was. It’s clear that a group of twenty-something-year-old students are far more likely to hold “clout” on the subject compared to a doddery old nurse who whips out a dildo in your health education lesson, or the nun that actively discourages condoms. Both, unfortunately, were real experiences shared by my fellow volunteers on our training day.

-> In-depth information on the curriculum at Sexpression: https://sexpression.org.uk/curriculum.html

How would you describe your experience teaching SexEd?

Although I was nervous at the thought of being mercilessly quizzed by teenagers on complicated anatomical issues, I was pleasantly surprised by how rewarding my experience has been. One of the first points we make to classes is that we are not “sexperts” (although it would be cool if we were all like Jean Milburn in Sex Education), and we are mainly here to give the students information that they may not otherwise have come across and to encourage healthy discussion around sex and relationships. One of my favourite pieces of information that students may not have received before is when we pull up a picture of a human hand wrapped up in a condom to prove that “no penis is too big for a condom - so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!” Some of the overconfident students tend to look a little crestfallen after this. For me, I love being able to question pupils on why they think certain things are so set in stone when it comes to sex. I thought many similar things at their age, but no one had ever challenged me. This in itself can be difficult, as sometimes you can tell that students are not that willing to listen or are (as expected) not taking the class seriously. It also doesn’t help if the teacher awkwardly buries their head in their laptop in the corner of the classroom for the entire session. Having said this, I enjoy how willing many students are to ask questions and maturely engage in discussion. It gives me so much hope! I’m aware that this makes me sound rather aged, but all I can think when I’m teaching (not to blow my own trumpet or anything) is that I wish I could have had something like this at their age.

What is your favourite part about teaching SexEd?

Apart from being legitimately allowed to debate with the lad table about why blowjobs can be just as much “work” as going down on a girl (yes, this did happen), I really enjoy being able to talk to pupils about these issues and offer them an alternative perspective. Although this doesn’t always register, it’s nice to get the occasional look on a pupil’s face that reads: maybe this looney student-teacher does make a bit of sense. For example, in a class on healthy and unhealthy relationships, we were carrying out a group discussion exercise by reading out scenarios that could be healthy or unhealthy. One scenario explained a situation where a girl was ridiculed by her close friends when confiding in them for advice on her problematic boyfriend. To me, this was a clear example of an unhealthy friendship, yet when asked, “What do you make of this?” only one student said, “This girl needs to get new friends.” Many pupils justified their response by saying things like, “What do you expect when you tell someone stuff like that? Her friends have a right to their opinion.” Admittedly, this made my heart sink a bit, but I was grateful that this scheme allows young people to be challenged.

Apart from the intermittent micro-shattering of my rose-tinted, aspiring-sex-guru glasses, I love coming across the occasional teacher who is, to put it lightly, a legend. As I mentioned earlier, the majority of teachers are nervously barricaded in the corner of their room. They practically shrivel into a ball of awkwardness when the word “penis” is uttered, making the teachers who actually get involved the most fun to be around. My all-time favourite class was during an STI lesson where this big, burley, tatted-up-to-the-eyeballs, Scottish teacher opened the class with “So to-dey guys we’re go-weng to be learn-eng about ess-tee-eyes. Et’s really em-portant yous listen up because they’re very real and oot there.” As you can imagine, the class was a hoot. I was also particularly relieved, since the previous class I’d taught at this school was painfully silent. I left that lesson with a big smile on my face, not just because he encouraged the pupils to fully engage with activities and discussions, but because I was so happy to know that there were teachers like that who existed. It makes all the difference when you come across a teacher who is so unafraid to talk about SexEd, as opposed to those who inadvertently perpetuate a toxic culture of silence.

-> How to get involved with Sexpression: https://sexpression.org.uk/students.html

Any eyebrow-raising moments?

Before my first class I asked the lead volunteer this exact question, and she told me (much to my relief) that more often than not, Sexpression classes are quite uneventful. Although one time she did experience a scenario where a boy stood up in the middle of the class and explained, in extensive anatomical detail, exactly how to finger a girl. Naturally, this made me a little uneasy, leading me to think about my proposed poker face, should a situation such as this arise in one of my future classes. Generally, however, the most common eyebrow-raising moments are when pupils respond to exercises in a way that you would not expect. This is often more depressing than shocking, particularly when internalised misogyny or homophobia rears its ugly head in a student’s comment. The most awkward moment I have encountered was when a boy muttered “seems legit” in response to a true or false exercise which asked if only gay men and drug users can contract HIV. Thankfully, this was part of the lesson with the aforementioned legendary teacher, who immediately called the student out on his ignorance, asking him to stay behind after class. Of course, it’s hard to blame kids for thinking in such a way when there are so few figureheads that are passionate about these issues. Just take a look at the current British Prime Minister, do you think BoJo is really that fussed about supporting inclusivity in the national curriculum?

One of my more laughable, if not mildly-concerning, moments was when a teacher pulled me aside at the end of a lesson to ask me about what sort of STI prevention method one should use for oral sex. I felt like a bit of a pro being asked such things by a real grown-up, but before I could respond, she shrugged and said, “Surely, it’s like, cling film or something?” Trying to hide my exasperation with my best SexEd poker face, I politely explained that cling film would be neither an effective nor comfortable barrier method. [Editor’s Note: the American equivalent of cling film is plastic wrap or Saran wrap, for context.] By the way, if you were wondering a similar thing, condoms and dental dams are the most effective means for protecting against STIs during oral sex. (Although, I won’t lie, I didn’t really know what dental dams were either until I started teaching. Another reason why teaching SexEd is brill!!!)

-> Information on the lesser-know Dental Dam: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323768#what-do-they-protect-against

What is something that has surprised you?

As someone who grew up in England, I was completely taken aback (in a good way) as to how Scottish schools approach the SexEd curriculum. No matter if the school was public or private, every school I have visited has displayed a commitment to inclusive PSHE (Personal, Social, Health, Education). Although I have only taught at schools in Edinburgh, having done some further research, I found out that the Scottish government has far more measures in place which support an open curriculum. The first school I taught at was a large state school outside of the city, and as I signed in at the reception and was escorted to the classroom, I passed display boards and posters that were adorned with positive messages supporting transgender identities and open attitudes to mental health. I later found out that the school had its own sexual health clinic, which was free and confidential for every student to access. If my school had even dared to raise such topics, they would have probably risked a lawsuit for being “too political.” I later found out that some schools we taught at were “Rights Respecting” institutions, a title awarded by UNICEF that focuses on inclusion and well-being as a central part of the curriculum and ethos. Although I am very much aware that posters and awards can only do so much, I felt so refreshed by the idea that schools can be a place which support inclusion, rather than torture those who are different.

-> Scottish Government - health and wellbeing in schools: https://www.gov.scot/policies/schools/wellbeing-in-schools

-> What is a rights respecting school?: https://www.unicef.org.uk/rights-respecting-schools/the-rrsa/what-is-a-rights-respecting-school

Final thoughts?
To sum up, my experience teaching SexEd has been both refreshing and challenging. I’m so grateful to be part of this scheme and to work alongside like-minded, sex-positive individuals. I would encourage schools everywhere to get involved. I am convinced that this will make future generations more confident surrounding sex and relationships, as well as making them more open-minded. At the end of the day, who wouldn’t want that?

 India W. is a third year student at the University of Edinburgh studying Politics and Sociology.