The "F" Word
Many surveys have been conducted where a group of people are asked whether or not they are a feminist, followed by the question of whether or not they believe in the equality of the sexes. Remarkably, the stats overwhelmingly show very few people opting to name themselves feminists, but the majority of the group then saying they believe in equal rights.
This shows how over the years the true meaning of the word “feminist” has been buried under a heap of negative myths and misconceptions that have ultimately created a stigma repelling people from the feminist movement. What we have lost sight of is what feminism actually means. And its core belief is simple and indisputable. There are many variations on the exact definition, but one that is both succinct yet conclusive is this. A feminist is someone who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.
In recent years, there has been a wake-up call on how most feminist thought has centred around white women. But feminism must be the fight for all women. Barbara Smith, a prominent figure in the Black Feminist movement in the United States, gives a more detailed definition, “feminism is the political theory and practice to free all women: women of colour, working-class women, poor women, physically challenged women, lesbians, old women, as well as white economically privileged heterosexual women. Anything less than this is not feminism, but merely female self-aggrandizement."
In other words, to be discriminatory in any form is to automatically renounce the claim of being a feminist. It is not possible to pick and choose who you support within feminism, as that goes against the very nature of the fight.
That’s not to say that the entirety of the feminist movement isn’t complicated. There are many different ideologies within feminism, as with any movement, but these do not need to be studied and understood in order to identify as a feminist, because feminism, at its core, is extremely straightforward.
In the words of Rose McGowan (a brilliant and wise woman who I will be quoting on multiple occasions) “Men and women: You can both be feminists. It just means you’re for equal rights and equal pay. If you believe women should have equal rights and equal pay, congratulations, you are now a feminist. Pretty simple, really.”
Despite this very clear and simple definition that many would affiliate themselves with, in our society it is currently acceptable, even preferable, for people to say they are not feminists. The question therefore presents itself, why has the word “feminist” been sullied? It’s about time we debunked the misinformation around feminism.
One of the most damaging myths that isolates a lot of people from the movement is that feminism is “man-hating.” People mistake “pro-women” for “anti-men.” But it is not against men having rights, it is simply for women having the same rights. The confusion is often down to the name that is quite obviously linked to “female,” as people wonder why, if it’s a fight for everyone, it doesn’t have a name that includes everyone. Many alternatives have been suggested such as “equalism” and “egalitarianism.”
The reason feminism has its name is for the same reason “Black Lives Matter” is not called “All Lives Matter.” The fight is for those who are currently not treated equally, and the movement is the long overdue representation of the oppressed voice. Although the patriarchy also oppresses males, (something we’ll touch upon later) men simultaneously profit from it, so it’s understandable that the focus is with those that our society treats as second best.
Another popular misconception is that feminism is saying everyone is equal and therefore everyone is the same. That feminism ignores the differences between male and female by equating them. But feminism is not saying we are all the same as people, it is not ignoring difference. Feminism is the belief in equality despite our differences.
Shockingly, many of us women do not identify as feminists. We do not want to associate ourselves with the movement created to fight for us. Those of us that are self-confessed feminists might even be embarrassed to admit it.
This is all due to the false narrative created around feminism: this narrative has stunted the power of the movement. It is painfully ironic that often it is us women who choose not to support it. We have willingly renounced the fight for our own power, allowing it to continue to disproportionately rest in other hands. In the words of Rose McGowan, (I told you that we would return to her wisdom), “It’s a place of power. Feminism has for years turned into a dirty word, but it’s not. The men in power and in media made it a dirty word to serve their purposes, not ours. Look at who’s benefiting from you not recognizing that you are a feminist, because it’s not you.” Maya Angelou had the same idea, stating “I’m a feminist. I’ve been female for a long time now. It’d be stupid not to be on my own side.”
I’ve realised that one of the reasons that women may disassociate themselves with feminism is because they want children and a family. Support for this narrative is not always represented in mainstream feminism, so it is misinterpreted as a movement that looks down upon those who want a life rooted in a more traditional narrative. But this is once again a misunderstanding. The reason the feminist narrative has been focused on women not having to get married or have children is because women historically are expected to do these things.
The goal is to show us that we can choose what we want from life and have the opportunities to obtain it, regardless of society's expectations of us. The focus has therefore been on the less accepted, less traditional narrative of women not marrying and not having children and making sure it’s known that it’s their choice. Feminism is equally fighting to give women the choice to stay at home to raise their kids, if that’s what they want to do. Or, if your partner is male, it is giving him the choice to stay home with the kids, despite society expecting this to be the mother’s role. Take Emma Watson’s word for it. She said “Feminism is not here to dictate to you. It’s not prescriptive, it’s not dogmatic. All we are here to do is give you a choice.”
A good way to see whether you’re a feminist is to ask yourself whether you would want each of your children to have the same rights and opportunities, regardless of the features of their identity. If the answer is “yes,” then you are a feminist.
Yet many of us still willingly exclude ourselves. For those of us that do manage to hack away the swathes of misinformation clouding what the movement really stands for and begin learning more about what feminism truly is, we might find ourselves disappointed and disheartened to not identify with the feminists that we see on Instagram or in the books that we buy. After that glimmer of hope, we still decide it’s not for us
What we must remember is that what is shown in the media and in books is naturally going to be a more intense embodiment and expression of feminism. After all, it needs to be slightly out of the ordinary in order to make it into the public eye. For many of the personas we see this is their job, it is what they have dedicated their lives to, so they’re not going to do it in moderation. In these situations where we look to feminist icons for education, it’s all about recognising that you have the same core belief as them, and learning from them, but appreciating that you may express your feminism differently, perhaps in a more low-key manner than them.
A wise man once told me “never generalise on the specific case”. His message resonates here. If you see a woman who has grown her armpit hair, and you don’t feel you identify with this woman’s self-expression, that’s okay, and pretty common. But do not judge and write off the whole feminist movement due to the specific case.
How we express our feminist beliefs differs between every single person. For some, it may mean buying a book, donating a fiver to freeperiods.org or belting “I am woman” in the shower. For others, it might mean writing a book, not getting married, growing out armpit hair or burning bras (after all, they aren’t that comfy).
These differences in how people express their feminism is nothing to be afraid of. When has the whole human population reacted to something in the same way on an individual level? Never. So, there is no need to feel shocked or excluded when we see a woman who identifies as a feminist, but we do not see ourselves reflected back. Rather, we should see her as part of the bigger picture, one of the many colours in the rainbow of people that make up the feminist movement. We just might be another colour. You can believe in the same thing without doing the same thing. Equally, there must be an unequivocal respect for all different forms of expression, even if you do not identify with it yourself.
The accusation of being a “feminazi” is one of the most popular ways that different expressions of feminism are ridiculed and in which the conversation about equality is silenced. Feminism is equated with extremism, and simply speaking your mind about issues of inequality can have you labelled “feminazi.”
First of all, the word “feminazi” is completely contradictory. Nazism, by definition, incorporates anti-Semitism and racism into its core beliefs: it is a fight and belief in inequality. Feminism, by definition, is the equality for all people. So, the word “feminazi” literally makes no sense.
But, despite this, it is still very common. Whether used as a joke or not, “feminazi” immediately kills conversation (after all, once “feminazi” has been thrown into play, there is no obligation to even dignify the speaker with listening), and tarnishes the information already given, however true or informative it might have been. When we hear “feminazi,” although we know it is not a literal accusation of Nazism, it influences our subconscious, even conscious conception of feminism, giving the impression that it is extreme, it is dangerous, and it is wrong.
Linguistically tying feminism to dangerous extremism is a clever way of ensuring that less people will associate themselves with feminism. Not only does it diminish the initial amount of people that would call themselves feminists, but the word also silences those that do, as either they will be shut down for expressing their views, or they will not express them at all, in the fear of being labelled a “feminazi.” What may simply be some harmless banter comes at a cost: the potential to uncover more about inequality is traded in for a cheap, usually slightly uncomfortable laugh.
Some may agree that the word is often too harsh but argue it is warranted for “those man-haters who grow their armpits out and burn their bras! Those are the feminazis!” Well, as we have discussed, armpit hair and bra burning can be ways for people to express their frustration about the inequalities in our society, so do not warrant this kind of condemnation. If it makes a woman feel a sense of control or liberation in the face of the oppression she faces, we are in no position to judge, least of all equate her to the perpetrators that orchestrated the genocide of over 6 million people. A slightly unfair comparison if you ask me.
Also, we have already covered that the feminist movement is not a mob of man-haters. One other reason that feminists might be perceived this way is due to the phrase, “men are trash.” In a similar vein to the feminist movement, the message behind the phrase is misunderstood and misinterpreted, and many people take offence. My understanding of it is that “men” refers to the gender, whilst “male” refers to the sex. As gender is socially constructed, when people say that “men are trash,” they are referring to our toxic idea of what a “man” is, and how society raises males to fill this role. This leads to males acting with entitlement, forcefulness or a lack of empathy, which all equate to toxic masculinity and is harmful to the wellbeing of men and women. It is this that people are often referring to when they say, “men are trash.” They are not hating on every single male that lives and breathes today just for existing. By saying “not all men” our attention is diverted from the problem. This is only a short explanation, but I hope the actual message of “men are trash” is somewhat clearer.
If you were offended by what you saw as the generalisation of men being “trash,” perhaps this can in fact be used as a tool for gaining an understanding of the feminist movement. After all, you have shown the ability to empathise with a whole group of people being written off due to the sex they were born into.
It is important to remember that if you’re a boy you should not feel offended or threatened by feminism. Feminism is not misandry, and neither is ‘men are trash’, as previously explained. Firstly, women gaining equal respect and treatment will not be detrimental to you. As Rose McGowan so poignantly stated, “My equality and respect doesn’t leave less respect for you: it’s not f***ing pie.”
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Secondly, it’s fighting for you too. The patriarchy affects everyone, forcing everyone to conform with its rigid expectations of life choices and identity. We can see the devastating effects that patriarchal values have on the male population by looking at the disproportionate statistics for male suicide. Men, generally, are far less likely to speak about their emotions and struggles than women. When they do, they are often shunned for doing so, labelled “pussy,” “sissy,” “wet,” or told to “man-up.” This is because the patriarchy’s ideal of a man is the image of being macho, strong, emotionless, and suffering in silence. Boys are not born this way; they are taught to become these things by society’s pressure (perhaps counterintuitively, ‘Men are trash’ is fighting for you too.)
One of the many goals of feminism is to dismantle these stereotypes. In the words of Scarlett Curtis “The patriarchy reinforces gender stereotypes. The goal of the feminist movement is to combat this. It aims to give each person on this planet the freedom to live their life the way they want to live it, unhindered by sexism or oppression or aggression.”
However, due to the stigma around the movement, the dismantling of these stereotypes is lagging behind. There has been recent widespread recognition that it is not acceptable for white people to make racist jokes, nor for straight people to make gay jokes. They are unacceptable, and a conscious effort is being made towards treating them with severity in order to eradicate them. I can’t help but question why it is therefore still acceptable for men to make sexist jokes?
This isn’t a case of oversensitivity, it’s simply a matter of logic. How are jokes about one system of oppression deemed acceptable but not the other? We see these kinds of jokes even amongst progressive groups, where other kinds of discriminatory jokes have been next to stamped out.
The same principle applies when identifying with a movement. For example, to say you are anti LGBTQ+ rights is homophobic. So how do we not see anti-feminism as a direct form of misogyny?
This isn’t to say it is always this way round: in other spheres examples of racism and homophobia are far more abundant than sexism. It is just to highlight that the social stigma around affiliating with feminism means that instances of sexism continue unchallenged, or even unnoticed, in areas where we are making progress with other forms of discrimination. Hence the urgent need to reset our perception of feminism if we want to make progress.
But, after all this talk of myths and misconceptions, one of the rumours is true. Feminism is radical. In a system that is inherently unjust and unequal, the belief and fight for equality is nothing but radical. I for one am proud that feminism is seen as radical, because if it was anything less than this it would inherently incorporate some of the vices of the society in which we live. Radical does not mean bad. Radical ideas are the fuel of progress.
Once we realise this, and start to learn more about feminist ideas, one part of the narrative that can be quite confusing and perhaps make it harder to access are the references to the patriarchy. The way it is spoken about, it evokes the image of some omniscient, mystical being that looks down maliciously from the sky to control society, getting a kick out of oppressing women whilst supporting its favourites, “the boys.”
But, in reality, it’s not some super-natural being to whom we are all completely at mercy.
It is a man-made system of society, created by men for men, that therefore naturally oppresses those that are not men. It is upheld by all today, even those of us it does not serve. That’s the twisted beauty of it. Due to having been brought up in a patriarchal society, we are steeped with its ideals, whether we like it or not, and so uphold it mostly unknowingly, as we do not know any different.
The sociologist Chinnaraj Joseph explains “Women too use the same abusive words against other men or women. This is because everyone is working within the same patriarchal framework that attempts to control sexuality, mobility, fertility and labour of women.” It takes learning about how the system works in order to recognise these instances in day-to-day life. Once we’ve done this, we can and must actively work against it. It exists structurally, socially and on a subconscious level too. All means of oppression need to be recognised and corrected.
It could be as simple as catching yourself feeling shocked or disgusted when you see a girl who has grown her armpit hair, and instead asking yourself, “why is it any different to a boy’s?” It could be noticing that in most films, the only conversation between females tends to be about romance. Or perhaps it could be asking a male friend how he really is, after he only replies “fine” the first time around. Or it could be calling yourself a “feminist” despite all that the patriarchal system has done to make this a dirty word.
Feminism has been discredited, not taken seriously, and morphed into something that it is not. The nasty rhetoric around feminism was created by those that the patriarchy benefits, in other words, those whose way of life feminism threatens. The patriarchy does not want feminism, otherwise it gets the boot. Feminism is the antidote to the patriarchy.
Here are just a handful of examples of the harm caused by the patriarchy. Simply looking into the widespread practice of FGM will shed a shocking light on the existing global monopoly men and the patriarchy hold over female bodies. A further example is that 91% of the victims and rape and sexual assault are female. 137 women across the world are killed by a member of their family every day. In England and Wales specifically, two women a week are killed due to domestic abuse, while in South Africa a woman is murdered every four hours. It’s also worth looking up invisible biases. To whet your appetite, recent stats demonstrate that if a man and a woman are in the same car crash, the woman is 73% more likely to be injured than the man sat next to her, because seatbelts are designed for the average-sized male body. I hope that along with demonstrating that no society in our world is equal, these examples also show that some are far worse than others for women. As Tanya Burr said, “There is nowhere on Earth where women have the same opportunities as men, but the gender gap is wider for women living in poverty.”
So, if you’re not a feminist because you don’t think the pay gap is a big deal, this is a reminder that it is not the only injustice of sexism. In fact, it is one of the lesser problems. Feminism is the movement that condemns forced marriages of underage girls, female exclusion from education and more. Being a feminist does not just mean believing in equal pay, or a higher female percentage of CEOs, it also means taking a moral stance against these horrific practices that are rooted in misogyny and the patriarchal idea that men have control over women’s lives and bodies. So be a feminist for all girls. Feminism is not limited to our society. It is global, and it is urgent.
If I’ve convinced you and you’re ready to shout from the rooftops, “We should all be feminists!” (just kidding… unless you want to...), the question now poses itself, where to start?
Along with a list of the pages and sources that I find most useful, I’d like to give you the rather beautiful idea from the American activist, Alicia Garza. She described feminism as a verb, not a noun. Feminism, to her, means upholding the humanity of women every chance we get. It is working for a world where women are treated as people in every aspect of our lives. What a powerfully simple idea to keep in mind everyday as we try to make society a safer place for everyone.
My recommendations
PEOPLE – Instagram
@scarcurtis
@amikageorge
@munroebergdorf
@ginamartin
@floperrydraws
INFORMATION ACCOUNTS – Instagram
@womankindworldwide
@goddessplatform
PODCASTS
History Becomes Her
GURLS TALK
BOOKS
Feminists Don’t Wear Pink (And Other Lies), Scarlett Curtis
Hope Browne is a third year student at the University of Oxford studying French and Spanish. She is particularly interested in issues of sexism.